


like old times?

by ghostlunes



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlunes/pseuds/ghostlunes
Summary: confronted by his past, ten finally gains the courage to claim his freedom.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	like old times?

**Author's Note:**

> a very very short drabble because i needed to be angsty. yes, cry with me.

it’s a sunny day, spring has always been ten’s favourite season. the sight of the flowers blooming as he walks by the park on his way to work and the soft buzzling of the town have never dampened his mood.

these days, ten is better. he’s been eating well, he’s gone out a lot more with his friends during the weekends to their favourite pubs and he’s also made some new acquaintances along the way.

lingering thoughts of johnny have slowly faded within the months of self healing he’s gone through without the man. ten believes he is better.

not until one day when he faces his personified nightmare once again. the cause of his countless nights of insomnia, days of constant self-doubts and negative judgements. it is indeed, him. 

johnny suh.

\--

_ ten doesn’t know, really. _

_ he’s been wary of his actions after the dreadful text from his boyfriend, or ex rather, asking for a sudden break up. it was so shocking to him, knowing how far they’ve come and how johnny would always remind him that he loves ten every night. _

_ this cannot be true, he thinks. he thinks about it every night. what brings johnny to abruptly ask for something so devastating? it has been a week and ten still hasn’t received any reply from him. it’s suffocating, to not know what’s happening from the other end. _

_ communication is supposed to be from both sides but at this moment, it seems like ten is the only one who tries. as for johnny, he goes completely off the radar. no one from his cliques have heard from him either, making it harder for ten to not assume the worst-case scenarios. _

_ it's the ninth day without any news from johnny and ten has begun to lose hope. it already seems like a dead case. _

_ he starts texting less and less. _

_ he begins to stop checking his phone every minute for any sign of reply from the taller male. _

_ but at the wee hours of the morning, ten hears faint footsteps out of their shared apartment, soft but so familiar. he is getting used to sleeping alone but those sighs and scent will never leave his mind. it is indeed him, johnny. his johnny. his head perks up almost immediately, forgetting how he is supposed to be sleeping now and how his eyes are practically about to betray him. there he is, johnny, eyes dark as if all emotions have left him. _

_ “hey.” he starts, probably unsure of what to say. _

_ ten can’t hold the choked sob any longer as he lunges forward, wrapping his arms around the taller, subconsciously afraid of being ghosted again. _

_ “where the fuck did you go? why didn’t you answer my texts and calls? have you been eating well? you look like a mess, youngho.” he rains johnny with questions after questions, huge lump of dread escaping his heart but at the same time feeling dejected, nevertheless. _

_ johnny keeps quiet for a moment before heaving another sigh, slowly pushing the petite body away, not noticing ten's rejected face. “the thing i said in the text, is true. let’s end this.” _

_ he voices out, this time ten feels it more, the pain and the rejection feel real when johnny says it to his face like this. “but why,” is the only thing ten can muster up in between his sobs and sharp intakes of air. _

_ “you’re just like him. i can’t forget him.” johnny replies again, and ten knows exactly what he’s talking about. he knows johnny’s ex-lover so well, johnny talks about him every now and then, but he doesn’t know how much it still influences the other. _

_ “you’re so much like him and that’s why, i pursue you. but i know i would never love anyone else like how i love him. so, i don’t want to play with your heart anymore.” he continues, this time his words are more elaborated, as if he has rehearsed it before coming to ten. _

_ ten understands, after hearing those sentences straight from johnny’s mouth, he understands completely. no matter what he does, he’ll always be placed as second. and although it hurts him so much to do this, he knows well that he would rather be dumped than be toyed any longer. _

_ so, at that moment, he makes up his mind. “okay. let’s break up.” _

\--

not only did johnny threw him away like dust, he blatantly says how much ten is nothing compared to his past lover. something as cruel as that should never be uttered to someone you’re in a relationship with. ten wishes nobody has to go through the same train wreck as he did.

he prays everyday to never cross paths with johnny again but fate isn’t always on his side. they met each other again, in a humble coffee shop across from ten’s workplace. 

“hey, you look good.”

johnny says, a shy smile plastered on his face, the same smile that made ten fall for him a couple of seasons back. this time, ten feels almost nothing.

sure, there is a familiar tinge of fondness for the taller, after all, he’s the person ten was convinced he’d spend his remaining life with. well, he is no longer that man.

“thanks.” ten replies short, drumming his fingers against the countertop as he waits for his coffee. out of all days, he decides to order caramel macchiato, the hardest coffee to prepare, arguably. 

fate is really not on his side today. it is really clear that johnny has something more to say than just that, but ten doesn’t give him a chance, allowing an awkward cloud to engulf the both of them.

“i would like to catch up with you sometimes.” johnny says at last, so smoothly, like nothing happened between them both. this erupts an unknown wrath within ten’s being. 

how could he?

after all this time, how could he come back and be casual with ten, asking him to hangout like old times?

ten properly faces the taller at this point, his eyes cold and lifeless as he stares back into the other’s chocolate orbs. he guesses johnny could feel his resentment from the way he slightly flinches.

“what happened to me being so much like your ex and wanting to stop playing with my heart?” his voice as sharp as a knife, piercing through johnny’s heart without mercy. ten is done, he’s reach a state where he doesn’t care anymore. johnny stays silent and ten knows he’s struck a sensitive cord. so he continues.

“leave me alone, john. i know you’re only in love with the idea of him, not him or me. you’ve never loved me. why do you even try?” he finishes his words, his coffee arrives, a perfect timing to leave johnny dumbfounded in the shop. and so he does.

he leaves, a single dagger-like glare is sent towards his ex lover, not an ounce of guilt is felt by ten as he sips his caramel macchiato. he leaves the shop feeling liberated, like a bird finally roaming the sky with its delicate wings for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this angsty, kinda short johnten! i added more words to this because i wanted to post it as a separate work, so yes, here we are.


End file.
